Believe In Me

The Twenty Dates by Ko Porteous is a positively charming contemporary novel that I adored. It is the second book in the Empty Nesters series but can be read as a stand-alone.

As their twentieth anniversary is in full swing, something snaps and a couple wonder if their marriage is over. She has given up work. He is immersed in his. Their son has just left for uni. “How have they forgotten to nurture the very most important aspect of their relationship: them?” As their nest is empty, they wonder if their marriage is too? They decide to have twenty dates, one for each year they are married, and hope it’s enough to save their marriage.

Somewhere along the way, the couple had lost sight of each other and their needs. “Maybe we both stopped trying.” The couple want to re-connect.

The reader immerses themselves in the twenty dates – some are more energetic than others. As the couple tries new things, they hope to inject a sense of adventure back into their lives.

Both parties are likable and believable. They are still in love but allowed life to come between them. We learn that “this is how he shows his love: acts of service.” But sometimes she needs words to accompany the actions.

Both characters are believably flawed adults who are easy to like. Both have experienced childhood traumas. “Deep inside, he’s still the eight-year-old boy who was abandoned by his mum all those years ago.” When the person who is supposed to love you best, abandons you, it is natural to expect others to abandon you too.

The lead female character lost her father on her tenth birthday. She blames herself. “What happened… are not your fault… We’re not blaming you or punishing you… You need to show the same compassion to yourself.” Her thinking is flawed but her grief is still raw. There has not been closure. And she has placed her Dad on a pedestal. “I never quite believed someone could love me as much as Dad did. That no man could ever be as reliable as he was.” She has idealised her dad.